Hi Peeps, been so long since my last update. I have been busy studying for my insurance paper.
It been 6 months, my classmates who did the same career path as me all passed their exam liao left me, I have not passed. I feeling down as I keep failing and failing which I don't even know the reason why.
Own personal life, beside going to work, I just stay home watch drama etc. Nothing new, hahahaha.
Recently or can say it's today, someone texted me and tell me, he regretted that we did not last long in the past, as we did not spent much time together, but now he already got a girlfriend, I ask him not to hurt his girlfriend as I know how the girl will feel, I don't want anyone to have the same situation as me.
I been learning to let things take place naturally, I don't dare to ask for much cause I know people wouldn't give it to you. In fact, everything need to be learnt in a hardest way before knowing how to handle something which others think it is impossible to solve.
I think I stop posting for now, cause I don't know how to write in sentence that well..... But I just hope I can be happy every single day. Travel to places which I always wanted to go and also I used to tell my ex those countries.
21 November 2017
15 June 2017
15th June 2017 (Thursday)
Back to update my blog. My life now seems bored... Looking for a job but there is no replies from any companies except for agent but only do for 3-6 months which I find it useless to do for that short period of time. Lucky I got own blogshop to sell things.
Today my ex asked me for help, to act as his girlfriend again to make his ex leave. I got a feeling that I might fall for him again but I also scared past history repeats. How? Though we don't text often in whatsapp, I will keep wait for his text and stuffs. However, I know that he wouldn't fall for me again...
Tomorrow there are two more interviews. Hopefully I can get the job though its far but I don't mind traveling. Lunch time, meeting my ex manager and my ex colleague for some catch up session...
Lastly, last semester exam, I failed two modules, My only hope now is to revise hard while looking for job and able to pass my re-exam for this two modules. I am worried cause I had been trying so hard in my studies but ended up still failed.
My resolution for June 2017 to end of the year 2017, hopefully I can get my degree certificate and get a good job which I can have future career advancement.
Today my ex asked me for help, to act as his girlfriend again to make his ex leave. I got a feeling that I might fall for him again but I also scared past history repeats. How? Though we don't text often in whatsapp, I will keep wait for his text and stuffs. However, I know that he wouldn't fall for me again...
Tomorrow there are two more interviews. Hopefully I can get the job though its far but I don't mind traveling. Lunch time, meeting my ex manager and my ex colleague for some catch up session...
Lastly, last semester exam, I failed two modules, My only hope now is to revise hard while looking for job and able to pass my re-exam for this two modules. I am worried cause I had been trying so hard in my studies but ended up still failed.
My resolution for June 2017 to end of the year 2017, hopefully I can get my degree certificate and get a good job which I can have future career advancement.
15 May 2017
15th May 2017 (Monday)
I have been busying doing my assignment as there are total of 6 different assignments and all the assignments are so confusing but luckily individual assignments only got 2 while the rest is group assignment. I admit I did not do well for my group assignment especially my last group assignment, I try to paraphrase my part, but my group-mates still got angry with me. Now I am doing the last assignment on HRM (reflective essay), hopefully I am able to pass, I don't expect a high marks cause I know once I set a high expectations for myself, once I get back my results, I will only get disappointment.
After finish my last assignment, I will start to find information for my examinations which will be starting next week. Kinda worry and happy as it is my last exam in MDIS but I worry is because of my previous module assignment, there is problem with it not sure will it affect my graduation as the rest.
After my studies, I planning to work and earn more money. Hopefully, I can bring my parents and both of my grandma to overseas to enjoy. Honestly, I didn't do my part as a daughter and a granddaughter as I always make them worry a lot, but I promise once I work, I will pay back whatever which I suppose to do.
As for my relationship wise, I kind of realize that I should not ask my ex back. I already know he will reject me when I pop out that question to him, could tell that he is much happier without me now. I just hope in the future, there is a girl who will be better than me, able to takecare of him, pamper him and not finding fault with him like what I did in the past. I regret for not treating him well when he was with me, I realize it after he left me which I know it is too late. Not to worry, I won't get anyone which will be much better than him, even if there is, I think I want to be single till I am ready for the next relationship. I don't want to get hurt or being the silly one asking people to come back.
Lastly, I having a thought that I shouldn't be born to this world, I only make people hate me more like my ex. Sometimes I wonder, what am I good at? Good at making people angry? Make people ignore me? or when people need a person, they will think of me, if they got someone else, they will dump me aside. I kind of sad over this matter but there is no one I can talk to beside posting it in my blog. Sometimes I even wonder what god wants me to do? Why do I always love someone, god will tend to take him away from me and put him to other girls?
{If I wasn't born, everyone which I know will be much happier compared to now, why must I suffer now?}
After finish my last assignment, I will start to find information for my examinations which will be starting next week. Kinda worry and happy as it is my last exam in MDIS but I worry is because of my previous module assignment, there is problem with it not sure will it affect my graduation as the rest.
After my studies, I planning to work and earn more money. Hopefully, I can bring my parents and both of my grandma to overseas to enjoy. Honestly, I didn't do my part as a daughter and a granddaughter as I always make them worry a lot, but I promise once I work, I will pay back whatever which I suppose to do.
As for my relationship wise, I kind of realize that I should not ask my ex back. I already know he will reject me when I pop out that question to him, could tell that he is much happier without me now. I just hope in the future, there is a girl who will be better than me, able to takecare of him, pamper him and not finding fault with him like what I did in the past. I regret for not treating him well when he was with me, I realize it after he left me which I know it is too late. Not to worry, I won't get anyone which will be much better than him, even if there is, I think I want to be single till I am ready for the next relationship. I don't want to get hurt or being the silly one asking people to come back.
Lastly, I having a thought that I shouldn't be born to this world, I only make people hate me more like my ex. Sometimes I wonder, what am I good at? Good at making people angry? Make people ignore me? or when people need a person, they will think of me, if they got someone else, they will dump me aside. I kind of sad over this matter but there is no one I can talk to beside posting it in my blog. Sometimes I even wonder what god wants me to do? Why do I always love someone, god will tend to take him away from me and put him to other girls?
{If I wasn't born, everyone which I know will be much happier compared to now, why must I suffer now?}
09 May 2017
9th May 2017 (Tuesday)
Sorry peeps, I just realised I hasn't been updating my blog for so long, hhahaha. I have been busying with my assignments as well as my examinations and some personal issues of mine.
The only thing I need now is time, time can heal everything. My heart have been healing since December till now but I still can't forget him, I even ask him to come back but he don't want to. I know it's my fault for not being understanding in the past and then I start to regret after we broke up, I been regretting till now, hais. I promised myself that I will forget about him.... I really need time. Sometimes, I just want to let car bang me an make me lose all my memories rather than forcing myself to forget.
Going to graduate within this month but it is unofficial. Time passed so fast, I can't wait to find a job. Shall get a job and work all the way without thinking of anything else .......
假如把犯得起的錯
能錯的都錯過
應該還來得及去悔過
假如沒把一切說破
那一場小風波 將一笑帶過
在感情面前 講什麼自我
要得過且過 才好過
全都怪我
不該沉默時沉默 該勇敢時軟弱
如果不是我
誤會自己洒脫 讓我們難過
可當初的你 和現在的我
假如重來過
倘若那天
把該說的話好好說
該體諒的不執著
如果那天我
不受情緒挑撥
你會怎麼做
那麼多如果 可能如果我
可惜沒如果 隻剩下結果
{If only I could rewind the time when we both just met and had those happy memories}
The only thing I need now is time, time can heal everything. My heart have been healing since December till now but I still can't forget him, I even ask him to come back but he don't want to. I know it's my fault for not being understanding in the past and then I start to regret after we broke up, I been regretting till now, hais. I promised myself that I will forget about him.... I really need time. Sometimes, I just want to let car bang me an make me lose all my memories rather than forcing myself to forget.
Going to graduate within this month but it is unofficial. Time passed so fast, I can't wait to find a job. Shall get a job and work all the way without thinking of anything else .......
假如把犯得起的錯
能錯的都錯過
應該還來得及去悔過
假如沒把一切說破
那一場小風波 將一笑帶過
在感情面前 講什麼自我
要得過且過 才好過
全都怪我
不該沉默時沉默 該勇敢時軟弱
如果不是我
誤會自己洒脫 讓我們難過
可當初的你 和現在的我
假如重來過
倘若那天
把該說的話好好說
該體諒的不執著
如果那天我
不受情緒挑撥
你會怎麼做
那麼多如果 可能如果我
可惜沒如果 隻剩下結果
{If only I could rewind the time when we both just met and had those happy memories}
21 February 2017
21th February 2017 (Tuesday)
After so long, finally I get to update my blog again. These few months alot of things are happening to me which are bad.
Firstly was someone leaving me which I loved him the most, trying to salvage this relationship but nothing good has happened :( Try to move on but tend to still miss him but I know by thinking already won't help as he already got a new girlfriend, should just give my blessing to them :) Now I do believe what's mine it eventually be mine, if not no point holding on to something which doesn't belong to you in the beginning.
Secondly was my course had changed from part-time to full-time due to some reason. Trying to cope 6 modules in one semester and having 5 examinations currently and I got a feeling that Monday exam I will flung the paper as the lecturer didn't really give much informations to study :(
Thirdly,recently I know someone whom haven't really fully break up with his girlfriend and I know it is not right to have a feeling for that guy but ended up we try out this relationship to see how things goes between us and the fact I starting to like him more and more... I got no confident that I will give him happiness as I got phobia of all my previous relationship, I tend to think that I will not be a good girl as that girl. That girl pretty and I'm not, I know I shouldn't compare and stuff but I really scared that one day he will leave me :( I praying hard that things will really turn out good for both of us cause I know that I will fall for him more and more without realizing and I want to know him better 😘😘
< Wish you are beside me right now, I miss you so badly 😔😔 I hope we can remain like this forever >
Firstly was someone leaving me which I loved him the most, trying to salvage this relationship but nothing good has happened :( Try to move on but tend to still miss him but I know by thinking already won't help as he already got a new girlfriend, should just give my blessing to them :) Now I do believe what's mine it eventually be mine, if not no point holding on to something which doesn't belong to you in the beginning.
Secondly was my course had changed from part-time to full-time due to some reason. Trying to cope 6 modules in one semester and having 5 examinations currently and I got a feeling that Monday exam I will flung the paper as the lecturer didn't really give much informations to study :(
Thirdly,recently I know someone whom haven't really fully break up with his girlfriend and I know it is not right to have a feeling for that guy but ended up we try out this relationship to see how things goes between us and the fact I starting to like him more and more... I got no confident that I will give him happiness as I got phobia of all my previous relationship, I tend to think that I will not be a good girl as that girl. That girl pretty and I'm not, I know I shouldn't compare and stuff but I really scared that one day he will leave me :( I praying hard that things will really turn out good for both of us cause I know that I will fall for him more and more without realizing and I want to know him better 😘😘
< Wish you are beside me right now, I miss you so badly 😔😔 I hope we can remain like this forever >
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