15th May 2017 (Monday)

 I have been busying doing my assignment as there are total of 6 different assignments and all the assignments are so confusing but luckily individual assignments only got 2 while the rest is group assignment. I admit I did not do well for my group assignment especially my last group assignment, I try to paraphrase my part, but my group-mates still got angry with me. Now I am doing the last assignment on HRM (reflective essay), hopefully I am able to pass, I don't expect a high marks cause I know once I set a high expectations for myself, once I get back my results, I will only get disappointment.

After finish my last assignment, I will start to find information for my examinations which will be starting next week. Kinda worry and happy as it is my last exam in MDIS but I worry is because of my previous module assignment, there is problem with it not sure will it affect my graduation as the rest.

After my studies, I planning to work and earn more money. Hopefully, I can bring my parents and both of my grandma to overseas to enjoy. Honestly, I didn't do my part as a daughter and a granddaughter as I always make them worry a lot, but I promise once I work, I will pay back whatever which I suppose to do.

As for my relationship wise, I kind of realize that I should not ask my ex back. I already know he will reject me when I pop out that question to him, could tell that he is much happier without me now. I just hope in the future, there is a girl who will be better than me, able to takecare of him, pamper him and not finding fault with him like what I did in the past. I regret for not treating him well when he was with me, I realize it after he left me which I know it is too late. Not to worry, I won't get anyone which will be much better than him, even if there is, I think I want to be single till I am ready for the next relationship. I don't want to get hurt or being the silly one asking people to come back.

Lastly, I having a thought that I shouldn't be born to this world, I only make people hate me more like my ex. Sometimes I wonder, what am I good at? Good at making people angry? Make people ignore me? or when people need a person, they will think of me, if they got someone else, they will dump me aside. I kind of sad over this matter but there is no one I can talk to beside posting it in my blog. Sometimes I even wonder what god wants me to do? Why do I always love someone, god will tend to take him away from me and put him to other girls?



{If I wasn't born, everyone which I know will be much happier compared to now, why must I suffer now?}

9th May 2017 (Tuesday)

   Sorry peeps, I just realised I hasn't been updating my blog for so long, hhahaha. I have been busying with my assignments as well as my examinations and some personal issues of mine. 
  
   The only thing I need now is time, time can heal everything. My heart have been healing since December till now but I still can't forget him, I even ask him to come back but he don't want to. I know it's my fault for not being understanding in the past and then I start to regret after we broke up, I been regretting till now, hais. I promised myself that I will forget about him.... I really need time. Sometimes, I just want to let car bang me an make me lose all my memories rather than forcing myself to forget.

   Going to graduate within this month but it is unofficial. Time passed so fast, I can't wait to find a job. Shall get a job and work all the way without thinking of anything else .......



假如把犯得起的錯
能錯的都錯過
應該還來得及去悔過
假如沒把一切說破
那一場小風波 將一笑帶過
在感情面前 講什麼自我
要得過且過 才好過
全都怪我
不該沉默時沉默 該勇敢時軟弱
如果不是我
誤會自己洒脫 讓我們難過
可當初的你 和現在的我
假如重來過
倘若那天
把該說的話好好說
該體諒的不執著
如果那天我
不受情緒挑撥
你會怎麼做
那麼多如果 可能如果我
可惜沒如果 隻剩下結果




{If only I could rewind the time when we both just met and had those happy memories}