29th August 2015

I thought things would be better but I was wrong,  still the same old thing happened.  Sometimes i wish you could just tell me instead of being quiet, ignoring me and unfriend me in fb and also unfollow me in insta.  Isit fun to do that?  Can someone teach me how am I supposed to handle this

The flower is not a guy who gave me,  its really a female colleague of mine who gave me.  Everyone had it not only me,  if cause of this you are angry,  i really dont know what to say cause I really not gonna lie or do stupid stuff behind your back already,  i been trying to change myself bit by bit.  Please tell me what had i done hais

23th August 2015

    For the past few weeks, I had been reflecting about myself. What had I done so far for that someone?? I know I been giving him shit for the past two months and talking to my ex, my cousins scolded me and keep asking me why I replied my ex etc. 

    I know now whatever I say , he won't believe me and stuff. But the moment he told me he wouldn't come back to me, I told myself not to accept anyone and just focus on my studies and work that is all I think. 

    Yesterday talked to him on the phone, what he said was right, I'm useless, studies no good, couldn't handle my own relationship well and also treating my family badly. I know I had hurt him alot, all I can do now is to think of a way in order to make him forgive wo. Let the time prove everything, if still no improvement, I shall let it go an let him find someone else who can make him happier ba. If his ex can still made him happy, I don't mind letting go.... Cause I not a GOOD GIRLFRIEND to him.



* In the first place, I did consider going back to my ex, but I didn't I still chose you, I still let you bomb me when you are angry, yes, I admit I ask you if you wanted 'her' but I wasn't testing you , I did not plan to test you even if my bestie ask me to, whatever I say in whatsapp was I beinng angry at that time, that is me, I'm always vent like this.... If I was playing with your feeling, I wouldn't have stalked you when we broke up, I wouldn't have ask my cousins for solution and stuff to improve myself, I would have just moved on.... But I couldn't ! yesterday I wanted to tell you, I did not test you or I did asked before why you want patch back de reasons, I know you not someone who will anyhow asked people to spent money on you, it is because I'm curious why you want to patch when I give you craps and shit at times. My whatsapp status is referring to you not my ex as I told you before, after we break, I won't go back to him.*

22nd July 2015

  Every day wake up thinking of going to work very shag, need to teach people who does not have the motivation to learn, ask the person do might as well I do it my own. After reading Stephen R. Convey books, I felt that I learnt something,  when there is something I want to do, I need to have the motivation to continue the stuff and not leaving it halfway.

  
   For now, I would rather take my free time to read books on self-development then wasting my time doing nothing... In the past, I keep asking my cousin why is she keep holding a book to read, now I think back, I know the reason why. As people grow older, they will think wisely instead of being childish, its not an offend to anyone... 


   My parents may still think that I am still the same as the past, but I'm not.... I'm totally changed and I know by saying its useless so I need to prove to them as well to my rest of my relatives who keep thinking I'm the worse compared to my other cousins. But as for my uncle and my smaller cousin, they will be there for me whenever I needed help etc, I'm grateful.


  I am so called proud of myself, as I now won't tend to think too much on things which will not happen, I feel happier this way! :) Plus I always able to give advice to my bestie but I could not apply the advice to my own problem which I find it weird, all my friends say why I can give good advice to them but could not solve my own problem, lol..... 


  I love the life that I had now : working, studying, reading books and most importantly is there is someone who can tolerate my princess behavior/attitude which is my beloved boyfriend, he is always there for me no matter what happen. That is enough for me, not being selfish, hahahaha....