14th May 2020 (Thursday)

 Recently a lot of things happened. Firstly is my current new job, secondly is friends around me. At times I always wonder, who is there for me when I needed someone to talk or someone that can advise me. I used to have one friend whom I can rely on but not anymore. I rather keep it in silences then expressing out.

However I will learn how to express myself well so that I'm able to pursue further in my job!




[Always never give up in learning]  

2nd April 2020 (Thursday)

Hi Peeps, 

Sorry for not updating my blog for so long cause was super busy and too tired to even blog.

It been 1 year 5 months working in Infosys. I'm happy that I met alot of good friends and caring colleagues. During my days in EA, if there is no political issues, I guess I will be even happier. I wonder why always there's people jealous about the treatment I got and the helped I needed? Why do they keep Pin point me, just like the bitch, trying to be close to someone when in the past i was being closed to. Now she already got the treatment, she look down on people.

Now in Gallacake, I noticed that people are trying to pin point me. I just do a small mistake, machiam like a prisoner like that being judge till so jialat. Lucky, I found a job, everyone in the office are nice, maybe it's just a beginning, but then I met a nice and handsome boss :x haahhahahaa


27th April 2020 is my last day in Infosys like a finally, tendered my letter last month 18th. Due to poor management and superior handle this issue, it has been dragged further for a week but thank god only 1 week rather than 1 month. My superior used to not talk to me till recently I tender then she being nice to me.

Trying to get my friend to join me, but i guess she will not come over as those upper management, they quite good at actiing, trying to pamper her make her feel loved. Why do you all scared people to leave? Here de turnover rate so high, if you all don't treat people well, then don't keep force people to stay.


Sorry for venting my anger here, shall stop here and keep updating my blog everyday or maybe once a week~ Take good care everyone 

TUESDAY, 21st November 2017

   Hi Peeps, been so long since my last update. I have been busy studying for my insurance paper.

  It been 6 months, my classmates who did the same career path as me all passed their exam liao left me, I have not passed. I feeling down as I keep failing and failing which I don't even know the reason why.

  Own personal life, beside going to work, I just stay home watch drama etc. Nothing new, hahahaha.

   Recently or can say it's today, someone texted me and tell me, he regretted that we did not last long in the past, as we did not spent much time together, but now he already got a girlfriend, I ask him not to hurt his girlfriend as I know how the girl will feel, I don't want anyone to have the same situation as me. 

  I been learning to let things take place naturally, I don't dare to ask for much cause I know people wouldn't give it to you. In fact, everything need to be learnt in a hardest way before knowing how to handle something which others think it is impossible to solve.

  I think I stop posting for now, cause I don't know how to write in sentence that well..... But I just hope I can be happy every single day. Travel to places which I always wanted to go and also I used to tell my ex those countries.

15th June 2017 (Thursday)

Back to update my blog. My life now seems bored... Looking for a job but there is no replies from any companies except for agent but only do for 3-6 months which I find it useless to do for that short period of time. Lucky I got own blogshop to sell things.

Today my ex asked me for help, to act as his girlfriend again to make his ex leave. I got a feeling that I might fall for him again but I also scared past history repeats. How? Though we don't text often in whatsapp, I will keep wait for his text and stuffs. However, I know that he wouldn't fall for me again...

Tomorrow there are two more interviews. Hopefully I can get the job though its far but I don't mind traveling. Lunch time, meeting my ex manager and my ex colleague for some catch up session...

Lastly, last semester exam, I failed two modules, My only hope now is to revise hard while looking for job and able to pass my re-exam for this two modules. I am worried cause I had been trying so hard in my studies but ended up still failed.

My resolution for June 2017 to end of the year 2017, hopefully I can get my degree certificate and get a good job which I can have future career advancement.

15th May 2017 (Monday)

 I have been busying doing my assignment as there are total of 6 different assignments and all the assignments are so confusing but luckily individual assignments only got 2 while the rest is group assignment. I admit I did not do well for my group assignment especially my last group assignment, I try to paraphrase my part, but my group-mates still got angry with me. Now I am doing the last assignment on HRM (reflective essay), hopefully I am able to pass, I don't expect a high marks cause I know once I set a high expectations for myself, once I get back my results, I will only get disappointment.

After finish my last assignment, I will start to find information for my examinations which will be starting next week. Kinda worry and happy as it is my last exam in MDIS but I worry is because of my previous module assignment, there is problem with it not sure will it affect my graduation as the rest.

After my studies, I planning to work and earn more money. Hopefully, I can bring my parents and both of my grandma to overseas to enjoy. Honestly, I didn't do my part as a daughter and a granddaughter as I always make them worry a lot, but I promise once I work, I will pay back whatever which I suppose to do.

As for my relationship wise, I kind of realize that I should not ask my ex back. I already know he will reject me when I pop out that question to him, could tell that he is much happier without me now. I just hope in the future, there is a girl who will be better than me, able to takecare of him, pamper him and not finding fault with him like what I did in the past. I regret for not treating him well when he was with me, I realize it after he left me which I know it is too late. Not to worry, I won't get anyone which will be much better than him, even if there is, I think I want to be single till I am ready for the next relationship. I don't want to get hurt or being the silly one asking people to come back.

Lastly, I having a thought that I shouldn't be born to this world, I only make people hate me more like my ex. Sometimes I wonder, what am I good at? Good at making people angry? Make people ignore me? or when people need a person, they will think of me, if they got someone else, they will dump me aside. I kind of sad over this matter but there is no one I can talk to beside posting it in my blog. Sometimes I even wonder what god wants me to do? Why do I always love someone, god will tend to take him away from me and put him to other girls?



{If I wasn't born, everyone which I know will be much happier compared to now, why must I suffer now?}

9th May 2017 (Tuesday)

   Sorry peeps, I just realised I hasn't been updating my blog for so long, hhahaha. I have been busying with my assignments as well as my examinations and some personal issues of mine. 
  
   The only thing I need now is time, time can heal everything. My heart have been healing since December till now but I still can't forget him, I even ask him to come back but he don't want to. I know it's my fault for not being understanding in the past and then I start to regret after we broke up, I been regretting till now, hais. I promised myself that I will forget about him.... I really need time. Sometimes, I just want to let car bang me an make me lose all my memories rather than forcing myself to forget.

   Going to graduate within this month but it is unofficial. Time passed so fast, I can't wait to find a job. Shall get a job and work all the way without thinking of anything else .......



假如把犯得起的錯
能錯的都錯過
應該還來得及去悔過
假如沒把一切說破
那一場小風波 將一笑帶過
在感情面前 講什麼自我
要得過且過 才好過
全都怪我
不該沉默時沉默 該勇敢時軟弱
如果不是我
誤會自己洒脫 讓我們難過
可當初的你 和現在的我
假如重來過
倘若那天
把該說的話好好說
該體諒的不執著
如果那天我
不受情緒挑撥
你會怎麼做
那麼多如果 可能如果我
可惜沒如果 隻剩下結果




{If only I could rewind the time when we both just met and had those happy memories}

21th February 2017 (Tuesday)

After so long, finally I get to update my blog again. These few months alot of things are happening to me which are bad. 

Firstly was someone leaving me which I loved him the most, trying to salvage this relationship but nothing good has happened :( Try to move on but tend to still miss him but I know by thinking already won't help as he already got a new girlfriend, should just give my blessing to them :) Now I do believe what's mine it eventually be mine, if not no point holding on to something which doesn't belong to you in the beginning.

Secondly was my course had changed from part-time to full-time due to some reason. Trying to cope 6 modules in one semester and having 5 examinations currently and I got a feeling that Monday exam I will flung the paper as the lecturer didn't really give much informations to study :( 

Thirdly,recently I know someone whom haven't really fully break up with his girlfriend and I know it is not right to have a feeling for that guy but ended up we try out this relationship to see how things goes between us and the fact I starting to like him more and more... I got no confident that I will give him happiness as I got phobia of all my previous relationship, I tend to think that I will not be a good girl as that girl. That girl pretty and I'm not, I know I shouldn't compare and stuff but I really scared that one day he will leave me :( I praying hard that things will really turn out good for both of us cause I know that I will fall for him more and more without realizing and I want to know him better 😘😘






< Wish you are beside me right now, I miss you so badly 😔😔 I hope we can remain like this forever >

31st december 2015

So fast today is the last day of 2015, it has been a great year to me :) for the first hald of the year i got alot of shit but the next half of the year i got someone important to me <3  

This feeling will accompany through the whole of 2016 and even longer :)

4th October 015

Gonna update my blog. Been busying for this few weeks with my assignment, work and also some personal stuffs. At least one assignment is down, now need to touch up on the other assignment before submitting and after that need to focus on exams. 

Finally, found someone who got a lot of common interests and also able to takecare of me better. I feel so fortunate that all this family members are treating me as one.

Shit ok, I  don't know what to update liaoo :/

20th September 2015

 After so long then I update my blog.... For the past few weeks, feeling so stress over work :/ My colleague all bully me, asking me to do this and do that like I'm the only person who handle all the project that our team is managing, damn fucked up. Everyday thinking of going to work damn shag, don't feel like working with my two colleague who are in the same team as me, they can't prioritize their work and also their time, do things also so slow till I need to help them finished everything.

As for school, I still able to cope with my studies and I having so much of laughter with my precious classmates who had been there to care for me whenever I had problems and also be my listening ears ☺ We planning to have our graduation holiday after we graduate, looking forward to it :)!!! 

As for relationship wise, ever since I with him, I learned alot of stuff but whenever we argue or quarrel, I tend to be quiet as I didn't want to make things worse. I know if I explain or I talk back, things will be worse so I prefer being vent on than anything else. After all this happened, I learned to be even stronger than before.







*There are something which is yours, it will be. If you want to give up, you need to think that what is the things that make you hold on for so long till you did not want to let it go* 

29th August 2015

I thought things would be better but I was wrong,  still the same old thing happened.  Sometimes i wish you could just tell me instead of being quiet, ignoring me and unfriend me in fb and also unfollow me in insta.  Isit fun to do that?  Can someone teach me how am I supposed to handle this

The flower is not a guy who gave me,  its really a female colleague of mine who gave me.  Everyone had it not only me,  if cause of this you are angry,  i really dont know what to say cause I really not gonna lie or do stupid stuff behind your back already,  i been trying to change myself bit by bit.  Please tell me what had i done hais

23th August 2015

    For the past few weeks, I had been reflecting about myself. What had I done so far for that someone?? I know I been giving him shit for the past two months and talking to my ex, my cousins scolded me and keep asking me why I replied my ex etc. 

    I know now whatever I say , he won't believe me and stuff. But the moment he told me he wouldn't come back to me, I told myself not to accept anyone and just focus on my studies and work that is all I think. 

    Yesterday talked to him on the phone, what he said was right, I'm useless, studies no good, couldn't handle my own relationship well and also treating my family badly. I know I had hurt him alot, all I can do now is to think of a way in order to make him forgive wo. Let the time prove everything, if still no improvement, I shall let it go an let him find someone else who can make him happier ba. If his ex can still made him happy, I don't mind letting go.... Cause I not a GOOD GIRLFRIEND to him.



* In the first place, I did consider going back to my ex, but I didn't I still chose you, I still let you bomb me when you are angry, yes, I admit I ask you if you wanted 'her' but I wasn't testing you , I did not plan to test you even if my bestie ask me to, whatever I say in whatsapp was I beinng angry at that time, that is me, I'm always vent like this.... If I was playing with your feeling, I wouldn't have stalked you when we broke up, I wouldn't have ask my cousins for solution and stuff to improve myself, I would have just moved on.... But I couldn't ! yesterday I wanted to tell you, I did not test you or I did asked before why you want patch back de reasons, I know you not someone who will anyhow asked people to spent money on you, it is because I'm curious why you want to patch when I give you craps and shit at times. My whatsapp status is referring to you not my ex as I told you before, after we break, I won't go back to him.*

22nd July 2015

  Every day wake up thinking of going to work very shag, need to teach people who does not have the motivation to learn, ask the person do might as well I do it my own. After reading Stephen R. Convey books, I felt that I learnt something,  when there is something I want to do, I need to have the motivation to continue the stuff and not leaving it halfway.

  
   For now, I would rather take my free time to read books on self-development then wasting my time doing nothing... In the past, I keep asking my cousin why is she keep holding a book to read, now I think back, I know the reason why. As people grow older, they will think wisely instead of being childish, its not an offend to anyone... 


   My parents may still think that I am still the same as the past, but I'm not.... I'm totally changed and I know by saying its useless so I need to prove to them as well to my rest of my relatives who keep thinking I'm the worse compared to my other cousins. But as for my uncle and my smaller cousin, they will be there for me whenever I needed help etc, I'm grateful.


  I am so called proud of myself, as I now won't tend to think too much on things which will not happen, I feel happier this way! :) Plus I always able to give advice to my bestie but I could not apply the advice to my own problem which I find it weird, all my friends say why I can give good advice to them but could not solve my own problem, lol..... 


  I love the life that I had now : working, studying, reading books and most importantly is there is someone who can tolerate my princess behavior/attitude which is my beloved boyfriend, he is always there for me no matter what happen. That is enough for me, not being selfish, hahahaha....