15th May 2017 (Monday)

 I have been busying doing my assignment as there are total of 6 different assignments and all the assignments are so confusing but luckily individual assignments only got 2 while the rest is group assignment. I admit I did not do well for my group assignment especially my last group assignment, I try to paraphrase my part, but my group-mates still got angry with me. Now I am doing the last assignment on HRM (reflective essay), hopefully I am able to pass, I don't expect a high marks cause I know once I set a high expectations for myself, once I get back my results, I will only get disappointment.

After finish my last assignment, I will start to find information for my examinations which will be starting next week. Kinda worry and happy as it is my last exam in MDIS but I worry is because of my previous module assignment, there is problem with it not sure will it affect my graduation as the rest.

After my studies, I planning to work and earn more money. Hopefully, I can bring my parents and both of my grandma to overseas to enjoy. Honestly, I didn't do my part as a daughter and a granddaughter as I always make them worry a lot, but I promise once I work, I will pay back whatever which I suppose to do.

As for my relationship wise, I kind of realize that I should not ask my ex back. I already know he will reject me when I pop out that question to him, could tell that he is much happier without me now. I just hope in the future, there is a girl who will be better than me, able to takecare of him, pamper him and not finding fault with him like what I did in the past. I regret for not treating him well when he was with me, I realize it after he left me which I know it is too late. Not to worry, I won't get anyone which will be much better than him, even if there is, I think I want to be single till I am ready for the next relationship. I don't want to get hurt or being the silly one asking people to come back.

Lastly, I having a thought that I shouldn't be born to this world, I only make people hate me more like my ex. Sometimes I wonder, what am I good at? Good at making people angry? Make people ignore me? or when people need a person, they will think of me, if they got someone else, they will dump me aside. I kind of sad over this matter but there is no one I can talk to beside posting it in my blog. Sometimes I even wonder what god wants me to do? Why do I always love someone, god will tend to take him away from me and put him to other girls?



{If I wasn't born, everyone which I know will be much happier compared to now, why must I suffer now?}

9th May 2017 (Tuesday)

   Sorry peeps, I just realised I hasn't been updating my blog for so long, hhahaha. I have been busying with my assignments as well as my examinations and some personal issues of mine. 
  
   The only thing I need now is time, time can heal everything. My heart have been healing since December till now but I still can't forget him, I even ask him to come back but he don't want to. I know it's my fault for not being understanding in the past and then I start to regret after we broke up, I been regretting till now, hais. I promised myself that I will forget about him.... I really need time. Sometimes, I just want to let car bang me an make me lose all my memories rather than forcing myself to forget.

   Going to graduate within this month but it is unofficial. Time passed so fast, I can't wait to find a job. Shall get a job and work all the way without thinking of anything else .......



假如把犯得起的錯
能錯的都錯過
應該還來得及去悔過
假如沒把一切說破
那一場小風波 將一笑帶過
在感情面前 講什麼自我
要得過且過 才好過
全都怪我
不該沉默時沉默 該勇敢時軟弱
如果不是我
誤會自己洒脫 讓我們難過
可當初的你 和現在的我
假如重來過
倘若那天
把該說的話好好說
該體諒的不執著
如果那天我
不受情緒挑撥
你會怎麼做
那麼多如果 可能如果我
可惜沒如果 隻剩下結果




{If only I could rewind the time when we both just met and had those happy memories}

21th February 2017 (Tuesday)

After so long, finally I get to update my blog again. These few months alot of things are happening to me which are bad. 

Firstly was someone leaving me which I loved him the most, trying to salvage this relationship but nothing good has happened :( Try to move on but tend to still miss him but I know by thinking already won't help as he already got a new girlfriend, should just give my blessing to them :) Now I do believe what's mine it eventually be mine, if not no point holding on to something which doesn't belong to you in the beginning.

Secondly was my course had changed from part-time to full-time due to some reason. Trying to cope 6 modules in one semester and having 5 examinations currently and I got a feeling that Monday exam I will flung the paper as the lecturer didn't really give much informations to study :( 

Thirdly,recently I know someone whom haven't really fully break up with his girlfriend and I know it is not right to have a feeling for that guy but ended up we try out this relationship to see how things goes between us and the fact I starting to like him more and more... I got no confident that I will give him happiness as I got phobia of all my previous relationship, I tend to think that I will not be a good girl as that girl. That girl pretty and I'm not, I know I shouldn't compare and stuff but I really scared that one day he will leave me :( I praying hard that things will really turn out good for both of us cause I know that I will fall for him more and more without realizing and I want to know him better 😘😘






< Wish you are beside me right now, I miss you so badly 😔😔 I hope we can remain like this forever >

31st december 2015

So fast today is the last day of 2015, it has been a great year to me :) for the first hald of the year i got alot of shit but the next half of the year i got someone important to me <3  

This feeling will accompany through the whole of 2016 and even longer :)

4th October 015

Gonna update my blog. Been busying for this few weeks with my assignment, work and also some personal stuffs. At least one assignment is down, now need to touch up on the other assignment before submitting and after that need to focus on exams. 

Finally, found someone who got a lot of common interests and also able to takecare of me better. I feel so fortunate that all this family members are treating me as one.

Shit ok, I  don't know what to update liaoo :/

20th September 2015

 After so long then I update my blog.... For the past few weeks, feeling so stress over work :/ My colleague all bully me, asking me to do this and do that like I'm the only person who handle all the project that our team is managing, damn fucked up. Everyday thinking of going to work damn shag, don't feel like working with my two colleague who are in the same team as me, they can't prioritize their work and also their time, do things also so slow till I need to help them finished everything.

As for school, I still able to cope with my studies and I having so much of laughter with my precious classmates who had been there to care for me whenever I had problems and also be my listening ears ☺ We planning to have our graduation holiday after we graduate, looking forward to it :)!!! 

As for relationship wise, ever since I with him, I learned alot of stuff but whenever we argue or quarrel, I tend to be quiet as I didn't want to make things worse. I know if I explain or I talk back, things will be worse so I prefer being vent on than anything else. After all this happened, I learned to be even stronger than before.







*There are something which is yours, it will be. If you want to give up, you need to think that what is the things that make you hold on for so long till you did not want to let it go* 

29th August 2015

I thought things would be better but I was wrong,  still the same old thing happened.  Sometimes i wish you could just tell me instead of being quiet, ignoring me and unfriend me in fb and also unfollow me in insta.  Isit fun to do that?  Can someone teach me how am I supposed to handle this

The flower is not a guy who gave me,  its really a female colleague of mine who gave me.  Everyone had it not only me,  if cause of this you are angry,  i really dont know what to say cause I really not gonna lie or do stupid stuff behind your back already,  i been trying to change myself bit by bit.  Please tell me what had i done hais